As I spent a day roasting at the beach, I pondered climate change. I thought, well what could be some of the good points? How can I keep a positive perspective? Surely mankind will be able to adjust to changes. It may be a painful adjustment but, nevertheless, we should manage to survive as a species. If I am one of those survivors, what are some things I can look forward to? I only hear the doom and gloom about climate change. I only hear that Armageddon is imminent. Surely there’s at least one thing to look forward to?
Let’s see, closet space! I should be able to have more closet space! For a person living in a tiny apartment that is great news! My crafting tidbits that are packed here and there in unsightly containers doing their best to blend in with the décor of different rooms can finally have their own space. So, dear reader, you ask the gringa how climate change will give me more closet space. Isn’t it obvious? That one closet that contains coats, and ski bibs, and assorted insulated clothing and boots and gloves and hats can all get cleared out and donated! Goodbye Northface and London Fog! Hello craft supplies closet!
This idea leads to more closet space. As I tickle my toes with sand that feels like it must be three hundred degrees in the sun, I realize I can clear out all my shoes. Everything has rubber soles. They will all melt to the sidewalk on the walk out to my car. The only pair of shoes I will need will be a set of sturdy wooden clogs. If I get rid of all of my shoes, again, CLOSET SPACE! Plenty of space for “prepping” and stocking up on bottled water, canned goods and sunblock.
But, if my rubber sole shoes melt on the pavement that is probably cooking at about three hundred degrees or more, what about the tires on my car? What about recent reports that roads actually melted in India? I guess I won’t even need a car then. It will be too hot for the horses, so no horse and buggy either. I guess we’ll have to come up with a four wheel drive, metal wheeled chariot , solar powered Segway contraption that can drive on any surface.
As I bask in ocean breezes under my beach umbrella I take an imaginary stroll through my apartment. I suppose I can also get rid of my stove. Who needs one when it’s a hundred and fifty degrees outside? I could leave a grill out in the sun on my patio and toss dinner on that after it heats up to about three hundred and fifty degrees Fahrenheit. Oh my gosh! My apartment is getting roomier and roomier! Looks like climate change also means redecorating the house! But, no big furniture. Whatever I get will have to fit on the Segway chariot thing.
Also, when the sea levels rise my low rent apartment will become prime real estate and I’ll be locked into a long-term, low rent lease. Sweet! My one hour drive to the beach will probably end up becoming a ten minute stroll. However, the only time I will be able to enjoy the beach will be the dead of night when temperatures finally drop down to a cool and tolerable ninety-nine degrees Fahrenheit.
All kidding aside, however, the people of India truly have suffered a tremendous loss of life in an unprecedented heatwave. Experts who thought we humans may have at least another thirty years or so until life as we know it really starts to change may have gotten the timeline all wrong. The ball that started rolling a while back seems to be picking up speed.
Wars in the past may have been inspired by the control of oil, but, with climate change accelerating, the world may have to look forward to wars over food, water, and a shade tree. The gringa thinks no amount of “prepping” is going to help an individual survive such a disaster. The only thing to do is all come together and help one another. It may be too late to divert this environmental disaster, but it’s never too late to be decent human beings helping one another.
Photo credit: www.lwfyouth.org