Moth Superpowers


(It’s a personal, political rant and lengthy. If the dear reader takes the time to read it, the gringa thanks you.)

Usually the gringa likes to pen a post about cool science, fringe science or some obscure historical event of curious significance. Although I often throw shadows of my personal opinions in the posts, for the most part I like to stick to the facts as much as possible. However, dear reader, I simply must unload. Please indulge me.

For those of you who missed my past post, “I Am Fourth Generation KKK,” well, now you know. The gringa is fourth generation KKK and a heretic to white supremacy ideology. I am also anathema to the majority of my family. Although there were some ties that I clung to with the highest hopes for longer than I should have but, a girl’s gotta have hope, right?

So, the first time I experienced my superpower as a moth, the ability to spin a chrysalis and emerge a new creature was when I set out on my own at 17-years-old. My college years were filled with enthusiastic self-examination, often re-crimination, and the cutting and hewing away of the most obvious elements of my white superiority complex. My relationship with my father was the first casualty of my moth transformational superpowers.

Then I married and had a baby. My focus was diverted from my social and personal flaws to my spiritual ones. In case most dear readers have overlooked this particular tidbit, the majority of white supremacists and white nationalists ascribe to the Christian religion. Usually some form of fundamental evangelical bent. As my marriage progressed and my baby grew, I became incensed at certain doctrines I had always believed yet never fully comprehended because they had never directly affected me.

When faced with having to believe that my innocent babe was a sinner and beating him with a rod was going to fix the problem, um, the gringa did the only thing she could. She rebelled. When my (now ex) husband complained about my rebellion, came home and reported that the pastor instructed him to “take away my phone, the television and car keys,” he informed the gringa that he had told the pastor, “YOU come over and take those things away from her.” Yes. The gringa had a bit of a temper. My ex-husband who stood well over six-feet-tall and was a cop with a gun preferred not to rile me.

So the pastor took it as his personal mission from God to save the entire congregation from the influence of a rebellious woman. The pastor informed me I was practicing witchcraft because that is what rebellion is. He claimed the bible said so. He also told me to stop all this talk of the love of God or people would use it as an excuse to sin. They should fear God. The bible says so.

So, the gringa said “Good-bye lunatic Christians. I don’t like your mean ol’ God.” I then went down the street to the local synagogue. They were happy to have me. I studied with them for about 5 years, enveloped in a new, religious chrysalis, for a lengthy metamorphasis. My new religious family told me I could never be “a” Jew because that is biological. I could be Jew-“ish” because that was about living a religious lifestyle. So, the gringa became Jew-“ish” through her moth superpowers. At least, in some ways, for many, many years. It was comfortable.

My relationship with three sisters became the next casualties of the gringa’s moth superpowers. They explained that not only was I condemned to hell for all eternity, but that I would be an influence of heresy so could not be tolerated. Although they did not have the nerve to say this to my ill-tempered face. They had to send a message through our dear, old mother whom the gringa clung to fiercely, finding all sorts of ways to apologize and justify for her obvious faults and flaws.

And there I sat, complacent and happy for about 15 years. Then, ye aulde familial roots of KKK raised their nasty tendrils. That one relationship that had remained so important to me that I was willing to overlook a nasty ideology in order to not completely be an orphan became a source of some of the greatest pain the gringa has ever endured. Five years ago a daughter exercised her moth superpowers once again, spun a chrysalis and emerged an orphan with a living mother.

You see, a mother, steeped in fundamental evangelicalism, conditioned to be a racist as third generation KKK, and trained to be incredibly polite as a southern lady should be as she exercised her self-righteousness and racism, became sick in her old age. The gringa quit her job and she and the caveman moved in with dear, old mom to care for her. The gringa’s three other sisters resented this but not enough to sacrifice their own incomes like the gringa in order to do the thankless job of wiping their mother’s behind. And the first week dear, old mom was recovering at home, the three sisters launched their plan to make certain that the family wealth stayed right where it should. Having a Jew-ish sister in an inter-racial marriage getting close to mom was a terrible threat to the family legacy remaining with the white folk.

Soon dear, old mother became convinced that my epilepsy made me dangerous. I was brain damaged. I simply couldn’t be trusted. I exercised poor judgment. Just look at how I had rejected the church and married outside my race. The gringa endured two years of torment trying to believe that the threats of lawsuits and other destructive goings on had nothing to do with my mother. But eventually I had to accept an incredibly ugly and painful truth. So I spun my chrysalis and became an orphan who grieves every day the loss of parents who are still living. Every day the loss of relationship with living parents is like experiencing their death all over again.

Once I got over my most abject depression at the loss of my mother and had recovered physically from the toll the stress had taken on my health, I once again emerged from my cocoon a re-created self. I was stronger, more confident and, despite my feelings of loss, I felt a sense of freedom I had never before experienced.

Again, I launched into self-examination, lopping off bits here and grafting on new stuff there. My oldest daughter converted to Islam. My oldest son rejected all religion. I was immersed almost every day in some of the most profound discussions of religion, politics and history that I had ever had and with two of the people that I love and trust the most. I got a new religion. It’s called kindness. I adopted a new political party. It’s called fairness. Life became so much clearer. Surely it would be smooth sailing from here to the old folks home. Then Trump happened.

I had never before engaged much in politics. I found that neither party ever really represented all of me. They also seemed to be not much different than one another in governing styles. All that pointing out of one being a better choice than the other was just campaign tactics. When they actually wielded power, they pretty much did the same things.

But Trump was a horse of a different color. Trump awakened all the racist language and training and conditioning of the gringa’s past. I heard my father’s voice. I saw my mother’s manipulations. I experienced the effects of propaganda I had seen used throughout my childhood. The gringa was incensed. How could this be going on out in the open like this? How could there be so many Americans who find this appealing? How can so many Americans be in denial about what this really is and the dangers it poses? How can so many of my fellow countryman not give a damn about how such beliefs could hurt a fellow American or guest to our country? Isn’t this 2017? Haven’t we grown past this? Aren’t we better than this? Isn’t much of this mess national flaws that we have already corrected? Shouldn’t we be much farther down the road of progress?

The gringa cast off such disappointment and cast on a new persona once again thanks to my amazing moth superpowers. I threw myself wholeheartedly into the political process. I was an activist. Tied to my home as I eked out a living pecking away at the keyboard, as well as my epilepsy often preventing me from driving or venturing out alone, I devoted myself to a political purpose as a keyboard warrior. I was ruthless and relentless. Social media, emails, articles, letters to congressmen, etc., etc. Then Trump got elected.

Shock is the only word to describe how this felt. And there was no time to recover from the shock. Every. Single. Day. After his election was yet one more threatening action from his corner. The gringa broke out the smelling salts, put on her big girl panties, and renewed her vigor to RESIST. Oh yes, much to the caveman’s chagrin, the gringa joined the resistance any way, shape or form that was possible. The caveman ignored me, refused the drama and sometimes got mad at me. He worried and we argued.

You see, he lived in Peru during their revolution after a military coup. He had an uncle and cousin who were attorneys that served the ousted president. And they got assassinated by the new regime. He had seen all of this before in a different place and time. The caveman was afraid for the gringa. And he had every right to feel that way.

The gringa received numerous death threats from white supremacists and white nationalists. They all had ingenious ways to make me pay for my attempts to expose the Trump administration as a white nationalist terror regime. What was it the gringa did that made them so angry?

  1. On social media, at every opportunity, I posted a link to an FBI terror report that classifies white supremacy and white nationalist ideologies as terrorism .
  1. I pointed out that the FBI also classifies these terror ideologies at a threat level of “serious” to anyone who would listen.
  1. I point out as often as possible that Trump’s chief strategist, head of the national security council, and drafter of White House policy is a white nationalist terrorist, Steve Bannon. He is also a proud Leninist who has publicly stated that his ultimate political goals are the destruction of nations like the U.S.
  1. I reject any defense of Bannon as a terrorist when radical right wing terror sympathizers point out that he has never committed a brutal act. I explain that the most dangerous white nationalist terrorists are the recruiters and propagandists that create the terrorist killers.
  1. I remind the public in any venue that Trump has appointed multiple white nationalist terrorists to his administration.
  1. I insist to every journalist or media outlet, as well as to law enforcement who provide security at rallies and City Halls who issue permits to groups for public protest events, that such terrorists deserve no First Amendment protection (and certainly not a job in the White House) because there is NO peaceful co-existence with ideologies that require acts of terror in order to achieve their goals. After all, we wouldn’t give permits to ISIS to hold a public rally, would we? Law enforcement personnel would not expect to have to protect ISIS terrorists as they publicly proclaimed their ideology?

    7. I offer as the latest proof of the dangers of Bannon’s type of terror propaganda the fact that, as CEO of Breitbart, a right wing radicalization propaganda tool, Bannon oversaw the development of its propaganda. Propaganda that was a preferred news source for Canadian Bissonnette who was successfully radicalized and perpetrated mass murder upon a congregation of peaceful Muslims as the prayed in there mosque just days ago.

    8. I ask the media to demand answers from the White House if this same propaganda is being used upon the American people (but I already know that answer).

Because of my actions there are those who would prefer that the gringa be raped in front of her family, have her children murdered before her eyes, lop off her head and hang it from a highway overpass, or have her home blown to bits with a bomb. Funny how so many folks are so afraid of brown people doing such things when history makes it plain as day that the majority of these terrible things have been perpetrated by white supremacy and white nationalist terrorists in American and against Americans. It wasn’t the Mexicans or the Muslims who have killed more Americans with acts of terror. It is white American right-wing radicals (who are often radicalized Christians) who have murdered more Americans than any other terrorist group. And the legislators who are encouraging us to march in the streets refuse to tell this truth.

After participating in only a week’s worth of resistance the gringa must announce that she is tired. Yes, I’m tired. The caveman actually went with me to a rally despite his personal baggage that makes him afraid of things like that. I came home and pondered over many, many things. I decided I am tired.

There is not a single, honest person anywhere on Earth that is deceiving themselves about the nature of Trump’s administration. Even those attempting to defend Trump, the gringa believes that they are fully aware that they are fooling no one and are simply parroting a script because anything else is just too complicated. The gringa knows this because the gringa knows that change is hard. To achieve change one must first wrestle with the demons of unpleasant truth. And there are plenty of people who don’t have the courage or stamina to do that. So Trump supporters lie to themselves that his administration is not a white nationalist terror regime. But deep inside they know they are lying.

So, despite so many Americans, civilians, journalists, legislators, being fully aware of what is going on and the inspiration behind it, not a single person with the kind of influence and power that matters has had the courage to step forward and boldly say in plain English that the Trump administration is a white nationalist terror regime. Even the leaders of the European Union had the courage to imply this by announcing that the US is now an existential threat to Europe, lumping the country with the likes of ISIS, Russia and China. But the most important people in America banging the gong for the masses to resist still cannot bring themselves to courageously point the finger at the White House and proclaim that a terror regime is installed there.

The gringa can’t count the number of hours she spent drafting missives to legislators, governors, mayors, news agencies and journalists asking them to ask these questions:

  1. Why do terrorists have jobs in the White House?
  1. Why are white nationalists classified by the FBI as terrorists yet are given jobs in Trump’s administration?
  1. Why are terrorists listed as a serious domestic terror threat given clearance to work in the White House?
  1. How is it that Bannon, a self-proclaimed ascriber to white nationalist terror ideology, got clearance to work in the White House and draft Executive Orders?
  1.  How is it that Bannon, a terrorist, is able to have clearance to be head of the National Security Council?
  1.  Why is it that the man who was the leadership under which master propaganda was crafted that has been a tool in the radicalization of white nationalist terrorists, inspiring many to mass murder like Bissonnette, the Canadian mosque murderer, why is such a propagandist shaping government policy for a U.S presidential administration?
  1.  Is this terrorist using the same terrorist propaganda techniques on the American people?

And the gringa has got a big, fat nothing. NO ONE who has any influence or power is willing to touch this. So, as the gringa looks around proudly at the masses of American people standing up with courage as our nation’s resistance to a white nationalist terror regime, the gringa is also saddened. Citizens cannot do this all on our own.

We need the media to do its job, not become enablers of terrorist propaganda. By reporting fluff and exploitive pieces yet refusing to deal with the elephant in the room, the media thinks they can have a clear conscience. They think that they can point out all the critical reports they did on Trump. But the gringa points out that they were never willing to deliver the literary death blow of the hard, stone-cold truth. They were too afraid.

Because the gringa can tell you, white supremacist and white nationalist terrorists are very scary people. They are well organized. They are educated. They have effective leadership. They are well armed. They know how to make bombs. And they know how to kill people and get away with it. But that’s no excuse to not do your job.

And what about all of these legislators? Why are they not heralding the words of their own intelligence agency? Why do they not put that terror report front and center in their attacks on the Trump administration, “The Terrorist Threat Confronting The United States”? Why didn’t Hillary during the campaign? Why are legislators who proclaim to be champions of civil rights protection so loathe to confront the ugly national legacy of white supremacy ideology and admit where it has led us? To governance by terrorists.

If these progressives and liberals in Congress do not have the stones to risk the danger of deposing a white nationalist terrorist from the seat of the presidency, then this country will not stand. The nation will fall. It will fall from the ensuing chaos of a white nationalist terror regime ripping apart a diverse population that, by and large, DOES co-exist peacefully.

This terror regime will come after us one group at a time, singling one group out, isolating it from the others for mistreatment, like the Muslims. At the same time it will ingratiate itself to another minority group in order to gain sympathy and confidence, like Trump’s announcement to continue legal protections of the LGBT community. This is to create a false sense of confidence and divide the population in order to prevent a united front of ALL Americans resisting together. After all, he can’t really be a terrorist if he’s doing good things for LGBT. He’s only trying to protect the nation when he focuses on the Muslims. Right? That’s the logic? Are we really going to fall for the good guy/bad guy routine?

When are the most powerful and influential people going to be brutally honest and quit pussy-footing around? There is NO TIME. Look at what has happened in ONE SHORT WEEK! If our country’s leaders who have the power and influence to change the course we are headed do not pick up their balls in their hands and do it, Americans like myself, who are full of beans right now to take up the cause, will walk away with disgust.

I will not give the fruits of my labor to a nation who betrays me and my family and neighbors. I listen to the Senators and Representatives of the Democrat party cast their rabble-rousing cries to the wind, encouraging us to stand together and RESIST. Yet they are failing to do their part – deliver the political coup de gras by using the intelligence documents that expose terrorists in the White House.

The gringa is tired. The superpowers of this moth for transformation are not limitless. I am not prepared to transform, yet again, into an oppressed class of American, prohibited from honest criticism of a president, and perpetually engaged in defending the most basic of human rights for my fellow countrymen who are targeted for oppression and discrimination because of their race, skin color, language, religion or gender identity. Why should these political leaders and journalists, in their ivory towers, expect the American people to make such public and disruptive sacrifices that paint a target on their backs for a retaliatory regime and they themselves are not willing to risk anything by telling the ugly truth of it all?

The gringa is having  a very difficult time finding a single leader to rally behind because she finds them all more cowardly than herself. I am looking for a HERO. The American people in this resistance cannot maintain this momentum without effective leadership. And I am disgusted that it has all come to this. Again, we are right back where the country was in the 1960s, fighting over the most obvious of what is right and wrong where humanity is concerned. The gringa is so damn tired of this damn country. The jungles of Peru have never looked so inviting.

The gringa’s superpower as a human moth, spinning chrysalis after chrysalis and emerging a new creature is running low on steam and after only a SINGLE WEEK of this crap. I don’t want to have to use my dwindling superpower reserves to transform into a political activist. I was hoping for the quiet life of an eccentric recluse artist. And yet, finding a place to hide is only temporary for, if there is no peace and safety for a soul to find in this great country, where on Earth can such peace and safety be found in perpetuity? If they come for one here in the good, ol’ U.S. of A, they eventually come for us all no matter what corners of the earth we are hiding in and no matter how damn tired we are.

Source: FBI

Independent UK

Image Credit:  Priceless Parenting

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Published by

gringaofthebarrio

A barrio gringa with a dream of cosmic proportions: writing to satiate my insatiable curiosity, worldwide literacy beginning with our youth, and to be the first barrio gringa to explore outer space!

5 thoughts on “Moth Superpowers”

  1. Wonderful piece of honest writing here. Just a couple of words of advice that you can take or not take. These are coming from someone who agrees with ALL of what you say, who feels the same pain at the outcomes of this new Terrorist Administration and who is also tired of fighting and trying to have a positive outcome on the political process.

    My suggestions:

    1. We have no choice but to continue with all of the energy we have to fight.
    2. No more than 33 percent of any group will ever be active.
    3. Take time to recharge your batteries. This is a marathon battle not a sprint.
    4. Realize that many like-minded people need to find solace in each other’s words or company.,
    5. Try to keep hope and faith alive that we will defeat this scumbag and his supporters.
    6. We cannot win by just beating Trump, We must defeat his supporters. This is the more challenging battle.

    IMHO.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for the incredible encouragement & for taking the time not just to read such a long post but to respond as you have. And every word you say is true. Crafting this post was incredible cathartic. Afterwards I felt like a coward and quitter at my words but I published them anyway. And I felt as if a weight was lifted. I have taken today to do as I please. I will simply have to see what tomorrow brings. But I know in my temperamental little heart that, although I am very tired & discouraged, it won’t be long before my fires are burning again. And that’s because of fellow Americans like you. Thank you. And thank you for re-blogging. That is a very generous gift.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope you find your hero over there, willing to brave all to expose this evil man and his regime. I’m surprised your FBI aren’t playing a more obvious part since Trump has already offended them. In the UK I’ve written a couple of things about Trump who I feel has to be stopped, but my Country and others are worried about him though as leader of your Country they still have to deal with him.
    Please take care of yourselves.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Like

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